Odds n Ends Read online

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  Odds n Ends

  Room 6

  I sat alone in front of the window and looked out. I cried and watched the slow but steady falling ran from room six in the Willow Shade Nursing Home. It seemed so long ago when I had looked out of another window as a child. I was crying then as well. About what, I can’t recall. As I looked out, I thought about everything. My thoughts raced in my mind as I recalled our fond memories.

  Not long before she died, I walked up to the door to enter her room. I had barely opened the door when I heard her ask the nurse who the strange man was who kept coming to see her. She wanted to know if she knew me. I told her it was me, her husband, Randall. But, she never realized it was me. My wife Faye passed only hours later. She had battled Alzheimer’s for the past few years. It was really hard on both of us. I knew she was better off now, but it’s still hard for me to let her go. All that I have left are the memories we shared together.

  As I sat broken, lost and empty, I reached up and placed my hand upon the glass in the very spot where she had placed her hands many times before. When I came to see her, which was quite often, she would be sitting in front of the window staring out. I saw her place her hand upon the window and then slowly ease it down over her reflection in the glass that was created from the light in the room.

  It’s funny; I can still recall the first time we met. She had her hand upon the glass of the door as she was coming out of a store. At the same, I had my hand upon the same glass as I came into the store. That was the first time I ever saw her and I thought she was so beautiful. I carefully stepped back out of the way to let her by; she smiled and looked at me as she passed. I never would have thought that someday we would be husband and wife.

  As I sat and gazed out, I watched the drops of rain drip from the leaves of the tree. I wondered how I would make it without her. God, I felt so empty. But, I knew she was better off now. I thought over and over why it couldn’t have been me. I looked back out the window at the rain. It had let up a little so I eased back in my chair. I rested my hand upon my cheek, slowly moved it across my face and wiped away my tears. I sighed a little, looked back out the window and began to think.

  I lived in Cold Water Creek, Alabama most of my life. We lived upon Peddigo Ridge for the past thirty odd years. It was our world and we made the best of it. We had our hard times, struggles and fights. Through it all, with our love for each other, we made it alright. We grew up in the country; the rural part of Alabama.

  We met the second time when we both attended a combination barn dance, hayride and cookout of a mutual friend of ours. From then on, we courted and finally married. In a way it seems like yesterday, but truthfully it has been a while. We didn’t have any children. We tried but we later found out she couldn’t conceive. That was a huge disappointment to us. It was one of the many setbacks that came our way. However, we moved on because we still had each other. Children would have been a blessing or at least I believe they would have. I took care of her for all those years until I had to put her into the nursing home and she took care of me.

  She started off by misplacing her keys and other things. She became forgetful and couldn’t remember my name. She slipped away from the sitter several times; I would come home and find her wandering in the yard. She was confused and didn’t know where she was. As time passed, she became worse. I came home early from work and found her hiding in the closet. When she saw me, she didn’t know who I was. I had no choice but to check her into Willow Shade.

  I can honestly say, in our early years, we had wonderful times. We shared out lives to the fullest and with no regrets. Reflecting on the little things brings back comfort to my heart. When we were younger and courting, I let my hair grow long and grew a shadow of a beard. She told me I had to get a haircut and shave if I wanted her to be my girl. Also, before we got married, I was to take her to the picture show once but instead I went out with my friends and got drunk. The picture show probably wasn’t much good anyway. They took me over to her house and left me on the porch. She wouldn’t let me in the house because she was so mad. She threw a blanket and pillow out onto the porch and told me to sleep it off. Then she slammed the door and locked it. I managed to stagger up and peep into the window. I saw her leaned against the door; she was giggling. The next morning I was up early. I looked around and saw her looking out of the window. She opened the door, came out and sat down on the step with me. I was sicker than a dog. But, I didn’t want her to know. It didn’t matter, she could see right through me; she always could. She told me to come inside and she would fix some coffee. That was my last big drunk. There were a few times when she got a little tipsy at some of our friends Christmas parties. However, she never would admit to it. I used to make home brew to sip on from time to time. She didn’t care for that either. As long as I didn’t get drunk, she didn’t mind too much. She stopped me from smoking as well. But, I have to say, the things she made me give up were for my benefit. Between the Lord and her I didn’t have a chance to do too many wrongdoings. We started going to church and made things right with the Lord. That was the greatest thing we ever did. Sometimes, I even filled in and lead the singing. Can you imagine that? The Lord was good to us. Although we didn’t deserve it, he got us through. Praise the Lord.

  I recall one summer at the fair. She made some homemade jam and entered it in the baking competition. It was very good; she was so proud of her twelve jars. She was so happy when she told me someone had bought them all. I showered her with compliments and told her how pleased I was for her. But, I never told her I had bought all twelve jars of her jam. It was worth it to see her face light up and see the gleam of light in her eyes. She bragged about it for a long time. One of my many favorite meals was country ham, homemade biscuits and pepper gravy. Her biscuits and gravy were the best around.

  Several years ago, she caught me flirting with another woman. I’d say we had been married about eight years when it happened. She acted like she didn’t care because she knew all I wanted was a little attention. It was a different story with me. If I caught her looking at another man, my face turned beet red and I got all hot and puffed up. But, I never said a word. Unfortunately, there was one time my attention getting carried me further than I intended to go. That’s when this other woman, Michelle, entered our lives. We became good friends, closer than we should have. That had never had happened before. We almost divorced over it. I kept telling Faye that nothing happened. There was only speculation and suspicion, nothing else. But, she didn’t want to believe me. We tried to talk it out, but she wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. She left me and stayed gone for several weeks. Finally, she came home and we worked things out. Faye never doubted her intuition. However, she never knew if we did anything or not. She just hoped for the best and wanted to move on. We both knew in our hearts that we could never live without the other.

  Michelle and I talked a lot. One evening, Michelle and I met in a bar and grill to talk. We had placed our order and were enjoying our meal when this guy, James Ed Cook, stumbled over from the bar. About the time he reached our table, he farted. I jumped up and criticized him for farting in front of my friend. Even though he looked like he was about to pass out, he turned to Michelle and told her he was sorry and he didn’t know it was her turn. I grabbed him and jap slapped him two or three times in the mouth and he fell to the floor. By then, the law had been called. When they got there, they took us both to jail. That was the last time I saw Michelle. I wanted to call Faye to come and get me but I knew I’d have a lot of explaining to do. So, I just laid it out. When I got out of jail, I went to Faye and made things right. She stood by me when I went to court and paid the fine. Faye somewhat forgave me and as the years passed it didn’t mean that much anymore. Michelle moved away which was the best for all of us. From time to time, I think about that man in the bar and laugh. I g
uess he really couldn’t help it; he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  I remember the day of Faye’ funeral; I came home and the house was so cold and empty. I couldn’t hold back. I fell to my knees and put my hands over my face. I cried because I hurt so badly and I missed her so much. I fell the rest of the way to the floor and asked the Lord why he didn’t take me.

  Time quickly passed and it had been about six years since I lost Faye. I had a heart attack and there was no one to take care of me. Dr. Jones, my doctor, made arrangements for me to be put into Willow Shade Nursing Home. And you won’t believe it; I was put in room six. The same room my wife had been in. The church members came by to see me. They came to visit and pray. They would sometimes bring me things I needed. The young people from church brought me cookies and candy. But, I never bounced back. There were the long days that seemed like they would never end. Dr. Jones was good to me and Nurse Melba kept encouraging me. She would help me out of bed and sit me in a chair in front of the window; I liked that. I sat and looked outside as my thoughts raced through my mind.

  One day as I sat and looked out, I remembered when I was out of school for the summer. That was the summer I met Jennifer. She was visiting her cousin for the summer. Back then everyone hung out at the swimming pool. With light of the sun shining down on her, I thought she was so beautiful. I nicknamed her Sunshine. She was so full of life that I couldn’t help but fall in love with her; she was my first love. You know how it is when you are young and in love. We shared the summer together. I believe she also fell in love with me. After the summer passed, she went back home to Louisville. The only way we were able to keep in touch was by letters. I didn’t have a car, so I couldn’t go see her. Eventually, I was able to catch a ride with a friend and I went to spend the weekend with her. Her parents agreed to let me stay with them. They allowed me to sleep in the basement which was fine with me. There was so much magic between us that it seemed to be more than love. I believed I had found my soul mate. I wished that weekend would have never ended. The radio played all the right songs that flavored our relationship and enriched our lives. It brought us through even when we were apart. I went to church with them that Sunday and afterwards I headed back home. I didn’t want to go but I had no choice. That evening when I left Louisville, the clouds were dark and heavy; it was pouring down rain. The Lord blessed us with many blessings; we could feel his presence all around us. But, distance can take a toll on any relationship. I fell from the relationship, but not completely out of love.

  I soon graduated and went off to college. I didn’t I know what lay before me. I only stayed at college for a short while. I went back home and got a job. I rented an apartment and lived a recluse life the best I could. All I did was go to work and back home to sleep. That was all I wanted to do other than die. Then one day when I was looking for something, I ran across some of Jennifer’s love letters with her address on them. I wondered if she still lived at the same address. I took a chance and wrote her. I wanted to see if there was any way of trying our relationship again. I mailed the letter and checked the mailbox every day. But, there were no letters. After a while, I figured it was over and there was no way of rekindling our relationship. Nearly two months went by and I never heard a word from her. By then, I had met someone else. A month later, I was at this other woman’s house when someone knocked on her door. I answered the door and there stood Jennifer, her cousin and her cousin’s boyfriend. I didn’t know what to say; I was dumbfounded. I told them to come on in and they did. But, they only stayed for a few minutes and then left. I never saw Jennifer again after that day. I have regretted ever since then that we never went outside and talked. At the time, I just didn’t think. I have often wondered what she would have said. Would it have been the answer to my prayers? Would she have wanted to try it again or was it over? Many years passed and I still thought of her at times. But there is one thing that I continued to pray about. I wanted the opportunity to tell her that none of it was her fault, that it was all me. I wanted to apologize to her for all the hurt that I may have caused. The Lord knew I didn’t mean it.

  Later on, Nurse Melba slowly opened the door to room six and saw the new sheets on the bed and an empty chair in front of the window. Then she came out, slowly closed the door behind her and walked away from room six.